Surpassing the Polarities (Why REBT Kills)

"Esoteric psychology in the first place is directed toward changing a person’s inner world, changing our way of thinking, of seeing ourselves and the surrounding world.

Esoteric psychology does not deal with the effects, but with the causes of a given problem, and in this way it helps us getting rid of it forever.

The term “esoteric” means inner knowledge or, in other words, knowledge of what is hidden, unseen by our eyes; knowledge concerning the conditions of our energetic body, knowledge of our soul..... In a nutshell, it refers to any cryptic knowledge withheld from the masses.

Esoteric psychology is based first of all on the knowledge of fundamental Cosmic Laws and it helps us understanding our purpose in life, formulate our life goals correctly and manifest them in practice." (http://universynergyarts.co.uk/esoteric-psychology.html)


The hermetic book The Kybalion states the Law of Polarity among the essential Laws governing the Universe.

REBT is a therapy often encountered nowadays, that appears as dehumanizing, because of reasons explained in another post. It mostly tells people that if something causes them unhappiness, they'd better change the belief that's related to it. (First, I'm not sure if it really deserved the name of therapy or cure, because a lot of people can not relate to it and never get to follow such principles, nor truly experience any kind of healing). It is a strange mix of not blaming others, feeling guilty and at the same time not blaming yourself and not following any logic whatsoever for oneself. This, let's call it, theory, aims to take away the concepts of bad, wrong, sad, unfair, frustrating. While the reasoning may not seem too bad, what it does in the end is to destroy polarities. The funny thing is, no one will cease to feel and live the polarities - only avoid to talk about those. It aims to place humans beyond our oh-so-used dual system (good-bad, right-wrong, nice-unpleasant, hot-cold, light-dark, much-little etc.).

However...

To be above polarities, one must integrate them both. E.g. one has to know the concepts of hot and cold and the degrees in between, the comparison process and so on. Only then he may be able to rise above. Naming and distinguishing between hot and cold asks for a judgment(as mere observation, not of moral kind, obviously).

REBT suppresses one polarity. E.g. One may feel that a friendship brings good things to life. But when a friendship goes sour or fails somehow, the "feeling bad" should be definitely canceled, because it's only in our mind - it's only caused by a belief that we should get rid of, to avoid the suffering and discomfort. Therefore, the bad part of the good-bad polarity is suppressed.

Once a half is canceled, the other one can't exist!
So how can the patient define what is 'good' and what something good is supposed to be, without any reference point inside? If we can no longer feel or define what cold is, how can we use the hot/warm concept? It becomes useless. The other half is emptied of its meaning. With an empty belief/image that something can be hot, one can no longer perceive anything that would be so. They say it just IS. Well, survival would have never been possible - nor communication - without comparisons and degrees.

Psychologists, those of recent times especially... "They quite frankly assert, 'this is the way it is'. And since all people are equally ignorant, nobody dares to object. Very little of what they call rational is rational. The scientific reason of our times is still part of emotionality.
It would be a good thing if the academic spirit were saturated with the understanding that you should not make statements on things of which you know nothing. Even in the learned, more than 90 per cent of what they believe they know (ascertained facts excepted) is sheer fictionalism." (http://www.laurency.com/L2e/KL2_10.pdf)

Back to our main idea, while still in this body and on this planet, you are a prisoner of polarities. If it is as you wish - that everything is good, how could you actually be able to reject what you don't want? Yet, instinctively, you still stumble upon loads of things, ideas, situations which you reject, resent, feel bad about. You FEEL it. This is exactly why REBT and modern perverted spirituality don't work. They only try to push horse glasses on you. The outer world stays the same, and you realize it once it throws a wet rug in your face. It cannot be avoided endlessly.

Tasting the forbidden apple tree means gaining knowledge and awareness of the polarities - Good and Evil to start with.  Mankind is entrapped now into this type of world, by its own choice. Polarities and what they hold in between their extremes represent an essential of the human thinking. Each choice that is made, no matter how simple, is the result of a judgment like, "It's good to do this instead of that or that, or it's simply better." When you choose a tea flavor/ type from a menu, you base it on this reasoning: "This one tastes better than all the rest. This one is useful to me right now. This one is new and tempting, it is better to try something new now." Any of these supports the one and simple reality: you can't escape the way we all think and act.

Spiritual Deception

There are two basic forms of prelest or spiritual deception. The first and more spectacular form occurs when a person strives for a high spiritual state or spiritual visions without having been purified of passions and relying on his own judgment. To such a one the devil grants great "visions."

Seraphim Rose

*prelest -

To enter spiritual work without adequate preparation is the sure step to failure. Most people, as soon as they get some spiritual ideas, they become so confident and proud of their own discoveries, that they take these to be something much more than just the tip of the iceberg (which usually is). As soon as they get familiar to certain deep-sounding concepts, they act as if they'd spent good years in India or Tibet and even boast about having found "the way". 

Even for the disbelievers, there is a line that should hold some meaning: "The devil will come as an angel of light". It is easy to mistake a hypnotic state with astral experiences,  a hormonal change with a change of consciousness, an unexpected light with the appearance of God or a guide, a clear voice within with the voice of the higher self and so on. In fact, ANYTHING can be mistaken for ANYTHING in this kind of work.

Since a lot of people around indulge only in a material life and laugh at any hint to spirituality, it is easy for the 'awakened' one to see himself as special. In such conditions, he will not ask too much of himself. A little meditation before sleep, a few mantras or prayers, a bit of reading on some websites... and there he is - ascension is easy! (Strange fact that none of these amazing spiritual individuals haven't yet left this dimension of existence. Oh, wait. They're waiting for that 2012 special energy wave to come over.) Just like that type of people who go to church on Sunday just because, then leave and go on with the same vices, considering that going to church is already quite enough for their so-called spiritual goal. 

While some masters lure their students by telling them to have complete trust in whatever comes their way when taking the path, it is actually advised not to. I rather say DOUBT as much as you can, doubt all confusing ideas that come your way. Being sure of something when it's too soon has never been beneficial spiritually. It means rush, ego, vain pride. The best students are those who start with the premise that one doesn't know enough. In fact, one knows so little...Besides, remember:
You can't even create the things nature creates. Man only learns to manipulate. Man doesn't give life, he merely puts 2 existent cells in contact. Only and only that.

"We are all in deception. The knowledge of this is the greatest preventative against deception. It is the greatest deception to acknowledge oneself to be free of deception."

Bishop Ignatius

"It is not a little labor to attain the truth precisely and to make oneself pure of everything that opposes grace; because it is usual for the devil to show his deception, especially to beginners, in the form of truth, giving a spiritual appearance to what is evil."

St. Gregory the Sinaite

The various forms of occultism have a rather contrary advice. The initiate is told to take for granted everything that happens. How can one trust randomness, the pure arbitrary in an ocean of subjectivity and uncertainty, which is guaranteed by our very imperfect nature, by our very ever changing feelings and thoughts, by these things that simply lead to illusion? How can one be taught to trust exactly that? This is where most methods go wrong, without anyone noticing.

There comes the split inside. Psychologically, the individual is still what he thinks he is (still belonging to the spirituality he started with), but spiritually, he has begun a distinct experience, as long as his mind cannot keep track of the nature of each idea involved. The subject will still claim he belongs to the X group or tradition, but in fact, due to his subjectivity and unseen deceit, has become like a heretic to it.

"Self-confidence and boldness are usually noticeable in people who are in self-deception, supposing that they are holy or are spiritually progressing." "An extraordinary pomposity appears in those afflicted with this deception: they are as it were intoxicated with themselves, by their state of self-deception, seeing in it a state of grace. They are steeped in, overflowing with high-mindedness and pride, while appearing humble to many who judge by appearances without being able to judge by fruits."

Bishop Ignatius

The Feminine Nature

You have argued with them, build resentment, ran to them and ran from them, get puzzled by them, turned silent to them, accused, denied, let go of them. All has been there. But have you ever taken the time to really think about what truly makes the woman nature? What makes them be so different, what secret language of the heart of logic they keep inside? Why do you sometimes feel you can't reconcile with them?

Think about the trees. An often encountered spiritual approach distinguishes trees invested with masculine energy and trees built on the feminine one. The first ones, like the oak tree, look fabulously strong outside, with masculine composure, rooted well in the soil. However, a strong wind can take their might away by mercilessly breaking off the branches or the trunk itself. Such trees are rooted off when there's too much to bear. On the other side, 'feminine' species like the pines, birches and willows, look slender and fragile - ridiculously fragile to withstand any caprice of nature. When the winds gets rough, their torment is great, looking as helpless as a leaf. Yet, after the rough weather has passed, they are standing and perfectly surviving. They bend but don't break.

This is the miracle of feminity. A woman can go through the worst of pain, anger or humiliation, yet she will find again the force to carry on and to do something good. Often, she will be the one to comfort you after a fight. She will usually do more for getting back together, although you may see her bending under the winds and almost falling to pieces.

Women are made to nurture and comfort, that's why they still cater to you even when they have blamed you of harm (because they know you lack something inside). Women seek to understand and adjust, that's why they ask you Why.  Women want you to become your best, that's why they 'criticize' and reproach you more as they get closer.

Here is one of the most beautiful and true things ever said about women:

They should be treated with respect, love, and cared for. Women are indeed made to be the most sensitive ones, and without this sensitivity, men will never change to be the best they can be. Do not insult a woman's sensitivity, because this is the only weapon they got to make the whole relationship work. They won’t be able to face their partner without this, or tell them the truth.

(from the blog of relationship coach Cucan Premo)

When a woman becomes silent, turns her back on you or bursts into critique, it may be the best thing that can happen to you. You don't have to admit her being right, nor to lower your head or to change on the spot. Listen to what she is actually saying. While you are ready to leave at her first flagrant mistake, she will be there through countless mistakes of yours, because she knows there is much good to hang on to.

As the song goes, “I’d rather have bad time with you than good times with someone else.” 

When this is the case, you are getting the most wonderful and genuine love declaration possible.

This is not about the women who appear as loving today and gone tomorrow, not about those who hide their sorrows and discontent just to make things look perfect on the surface, and not about those who give into your every desire to be the chosen ones.